it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
