Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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