well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
