i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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