What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There r osticjed everywhere
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
