went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize