all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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