Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
