Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
