I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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