Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
