I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I will be naked everywhere
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
