He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
