It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
