Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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