Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
