I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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