Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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