Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
