Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
third nipple confirmed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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