____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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