Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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