NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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