My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
