i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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