Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
