Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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