ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
