38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
