I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
