he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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