The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
