I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sorry about my life...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
