what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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