quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
