Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
