did you get engaged???
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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