It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
