You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
