did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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