: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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