I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This baby is an asshole
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
