You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
