Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
