these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
