I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
