we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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