At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
