I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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