I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize