Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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