what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
