Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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