I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
