yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
