my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
