He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
