Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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