Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
