He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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