We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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