i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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