I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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